Never Say Never : Jump

So as most of you know if you are a dedicated #feeler, I have been fighting with the idea of potentially moving out of Montreal and to a new place for a fresh start. For quite some time I was debating between staying in Canada or relocating somewhere in the states since I am a dual citizen (lucky me). Although I was born and partially raised in Montreal, there has been a big part of me that never really felt like it was home. The only and most important reason I contemplated staying was for the most amazing friends and family I have and the unhealthy attachment I had to my apartment and car (for which I finally had worked my way up in achieving that for myself). The thought of giving all that up and starting over (for the 6th time in my life) put me into a very deep depression, and I soon began to feel hopeless, anxious, and at times paralysed from fear. Just a few short weeks ago, as positive as I was trying my best to be, I was not well. I didn't want to be around friends, I was crying non-stop, and I even cancelled a Valentines day date (sorry)! Something just wasn't working in Montreal and that needed to change #realquick. Afterall, getting laid off twice in one year was a clear sign something wasn't working. 

It was a Wednesday night. I was down in the dumps and NOT okay. I had had ENOUGH. I was lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, tears rolling down my cheeks, and tossing and turning the entire night. I don't know how it happened or what gave, but in that moment I had my epiphany where it all made sense. I was going to listen to my intuition and just JUMP. Ya, you could say I'm pretty good at that. 

After living here before, I had always said never again, but ladies and gentleman, as Justin Believer would say, "Never Say Never". In the past, Toronto scared me. It's so so huge and slightly overwhelming, but of course nothing I can't handle;) I was young the last time I was here and also not in the best shape so perhaps I associated the city with negativity. I knew it had potential for me and for whatever reason it just seemed like the best solution. Toronto is the best of both worlds for me. I already have tons of friends and family here, past experience, familiarity, english as english gets, and it's not a 6 hour plane ride away from my fam & friends. My amazing auntie welcomed me into her second bedroom until I set myself up here and it was just that easy. People have been asking me if I've moved to Toronto and my answer is most likely. I am 95% sure I am here to stay. 

In the meantime let's see what happens, but so far so good! It's been two days and great things are already happening. I have interviews lined up, caught up with an old girlfriend alongside her showing me how to meditate (wow I felt energized after), and met my cousin for the very first time. Love being on adventures and I am proud of myself for taking the jump. Not to mention my road trip down was 5 hours of coffee drinking, music blasting, and DJ PERL dancing and spinning in the volks! (I'll get back into my deck soon) More DJ PERL to come.

Can't wait for day 3! 

Cousin Love