Be Tough. Be Strong. Be Grateful

My #feelers!! I have missed you. Shame on me for not writing in so long but a lot has happened in the last 6 weeks that I finally found the time to tell my tale. It goes a little something like this. 

BE TOUGH. BE STRONG. BE GRATEFUL. 

Moving away from home in the hopes of making a better life for myself was not an easy decision. It was something I felt needed to happen for many years now, but never had the courage to go for it. Montreal will always be my home and it holds a very dear place in my heart, but it just wasn't working. It was like a bad relationship. I just keep giving it excuses for when I knew deep down it just wasn't right. Due to all the changes I've been through in my life and the lack of bilingualism, opportunity for success in my own city was out of the question. It was only a matter of time. All this to say: I finally fucking did it!!!! Little did I know though, it wouldn't be as easy as I had pictured it in my head. To be perfectly honest, up until last week, I was battling a big case of depression, self-doubt, lack of self-worth, and complete uncertainty. I was feeling extremely lonely, isolated, panicked, and intensely homesick. I have been working 2 jobs 6 days per week (one of which a position, industry, and company so brand spanking new to me). Within these past 6 weeks, I have driven back and forth from Montreal to Toronto 5 times in total (entirely ALONE) so I could save money on moving costs. I have never been more exhausted. I even have the 5 lbs I gained due to the stress to prove it (ugh).....  I was starting to #feel like I had given up way more than I had considered; my friends, my family, my car, my independence, my freedom, and my lifestyle. What the **** did I do?

And then one fine day it all made sense. 

Long story short, I surpassed half of the goals I set out for myself upon moving to Toronto (with a little compromise of course). I got two jobs in two weeks, I became a recruiter which is something I've always wanted to try, I get to move to a high rise in the ever so exciting area of Yonge and Eglington, and I get to experience living with an old friend, which could be so much fun! (shoutout to my little elephant!). Yes I am crazy for moving for the third time in 6 weeks, but once I do I am staying put (for at least a year;) My goals to continue working on are the following and I am writing them down here for the world to see so there is no going back:

find happiness without materials 

open my heart to loving again

continue exploring my career interests 

get a dog

save $

travel more

So although I had my fair share of sadness, nasty emotions, and a severe case of the blues, I stayed true to my thick skin. I am currently in a state of gratefulness for all that I have accomplished on my own and all that I have.  I am minus in funds, but plus in experience. Oh and I'm Yonge and Eligible ;)

Namaste and happy 4/20 ;)